I know, I just posted yesterday, but I have a few thoughts tonight, and I thought I'd better let them out before they keep me awake any longer than necessary. Over the last few years, I've started to realize just how fiercely independent I am. There are a lot of times when I try to fit into different groups and categories, but I always hold tightly to my own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. This is ultimately why Christianity and I parted ways.
When that first happened, I was so afraid of the repercussions that I kept a lot of people at bay. The ideology to which I'd been subscribing was so divisive and absolute, that I didn't think that friendship could exist between people when they believed fundamentally different things. Sure, there were a precious few whose character stood up to my scrutiny, but I denied so many people the credit of being able to put aside their beliefs for the sake of friendship. Even though I believed in my heart I was right, I was terrified of their judgement, and therefore I built up my own spiteful judgement to keep them at bay.
I am slowly realizing, however, that while in a lot of instances, the "friendships" I had with these people was built on superficial foundations, there are still a few people out there that I have thrown aside undeservedly. Tragic? Well, not quite. Am I interested in going back and rekindling these friendships? Not necessarily. The truth is that I love my life right now, and I am lucky enough to have a lot of great people in my life. But I am learning that a difference of opinion doesn't have to mean war. War is the tragedy, and after feeling a responsibility to fight for so long, it's hard to lay down my sword, but now I see that there are some white flags on the other side of the battlefield. And that is comforting.
I am the Reverend Humpy and I have approved this message.
ADDENDUM:
I was thinking about this post a bit more, and decided that Bob Dylan actually sums up my feelings on the last paragraph better than I do. Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite Dylan tunes, Don't Think Twice, It's Alright:
Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If'n you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm a travelin' on
But don't think twice, it's alright.
And it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
The light I never knowed
And it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
But don't think twice, it's alright.
So it ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like ya' never done before
And it ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you anymore
I'm a thinkin' and a wonderin', walkin' down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I am told
I'd give her my heart, but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice it's alright.
So long, honey baby
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
Goodbye is to good a word, babe
So I'll just say "Fare thee well"
Now I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You coulda' done better, but I don't mind
You just kinda' wasted my precious time
But don't think twice it's alright.
I am the Reverend Humpy and I have approved this addendum.
2 comments:
And then there are the assholes.
But really, I think you're right. There's not a huge value to be gained trying to rekindle old friendships, but take this lesson with you going forward to avoid losing touch with people who matter in the future.
At the same time, most people with whom you cross paths have an expiration date, for lack of a better term, as valid relationships. This is natural and okay. The fact that only a handful come with you through your whole life is what makes those ones special.
And then there are the assholes ;-)
Well said, sir. Well said.
Post a Comment