Thursday, March 19, 2009

Mass-Forwarded E-mails...

Greetings,

I don't usually pay attention to mass-forwarded e-mails, but every once in a while I read them and get a chuckle.  This one in particular made me chuckle just based on the "When I was your age" factor, and just because I usually get a kick out of slippery slope arguments.

I can't seem to copy and paste the text because of some formatting issues with the e-mail (which is also pretty hilarious when you read it) but I saved it as a .pdf so you can view it here.  

Before you read any further, please take a moment to read the e-mail.

Ok, so here is my version (abridged for your reading pleasure):

To all those born in Europe during the time between about 500AD - 1500AD:

Congratulations!  You made it through the dark ages just fine!  

We didn't really care about things like hygene, and our mortality rate wasn't really THAT much higher!

Literacy wasn't a right, it was a privilege, damn it!  Only those of noble birth or those selected for the priesthood could read and write - and we got along just fine!

We didn't need education or knowledge.  All we needed to know was that the world was flat and that if someone in a red uniform with a big cross on it came and asked you if you were a heretic, your best bet was to just confess early.

We would have never allowed the concept of "innocent until proven guilty."  Guilt was implied, and proof was trivial - besides, public torture and execution... now that's real fun!!

And those of us who were peasants could forget about consecrating our marriages on our wedding night, we had local Noblemen to do that for us.

Gosh, I sure do miss the good old days.  Damn all this "progress" business straight to Hell where it belongs!

By the way, if you don't copy this blog and send it to all of your friends, God will hate you, the Baby Jesus will cry, and worst of all, you will no longer be considered an American!!

I am the Reverend Humpy and I have approved this message




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