Wake Up and Smell the...

Greetings once again.

This is my first post in February, and it's probably going to be a relatively short one.

Before I get into the meat and potatoes, I should just point out that I don't mind my (fairly) new job at all. I don't love it, but I definitely don't hate it - and that's something to celebrate (at least it is for me). I am doing well there, and there is room to grow into other positions that I would probably like even more. I just had to get that all out before I start my bitching.

Ok, so at work, there is a representative body of associates who speak to management on behalf of the rest of the associates. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept, so I won't bore you with the details. A couple of days ago, an e-mail was sent out to my department from our representative on said council. The e-mail was introductory in nature and, as is polite in such e-mails, included an obligatory solicitation for suggestions that might be raised at the next council meeting. So far so good.

Then about 5 minutes later, another e-mail pops up from a certain associate (who incidentally reminds me of Cory Feldman c. 1986) that says "Personally, I think it would be nice if we could get some better coffee in the breakroom." Ok, this, by itself, is harmless. Chalk it up to this guy's clueless nature (I'm serious about the Cory Feldman reference. The guy has the same voice, almost the same hair, and dresses from the John Hughes wardrobe - not to mention his obnoxious and socially-awkward demeanor). Then, however, the lemmings unite in droves around him. E-mail after e-mail comes pouring in supporting this ridiculous suggestion. And every one of them is addressed to EVERYONE in the department!

First off, if we as a department are going to unite like this around a single issue, I can think of literally DOZENS of issues that should take precedence. Not enough associates trained to handle escalated issues, constant problems with critical web-based systems crashing... the list could go on and on, but I'm trying to keep this short. Why the fuck would we choose to rally around COFFEE!?!?

Brainless. I swear until I'm blue in the face, most of the people in this world are absolutely brainless. They really are just like little lemmings... or lab rats. That's more like it. If you've ever had to read the book Who Moved My Cheese?, you'll know what I'm talking about. That is, unless, you actually bought into it like the authors and your boss wanted you to. Anyway, the book, for the rest of you, is about dealing with change in the workplace and it makes its point by way of a story about lab rats running through a maze. The rats know exactly where to go to get their cheese (which is supposed to represent whatever positive reinforcement we get from working), until the cheese gets moved, then each of the four types of rats must find a different place to get their cheese. When I read the book, I was insulted by the profound truth of the analogy. That really is the way our old buddy The Man looks at us - like little lab rats. And after this coffee bullshit, I'm starting to agree with him.

Anyway, on to point #2. THE COFFEE IN THE BREAKROOM IS FREE!!! I mean, really. We live in the Pacific Northwest!! If you want better coffee, drive a block and you'll run into a fucking coffee stand! Bring it yourself! Free coffee is fantastic. I don't care if you could de-grease engines with it; I'll gladly drink it.

That's about all I have to say about that. Except that I am now a little more fearful of the future of our democracy because of the things I witnessed this week. People make decisions based on the most idiotic things. It's really scary. Please make an effort to stop and examine what's going on around you before you do anything important - like voting. There are some really serious decisions being made, and if you can't be bothered to inform yourself, then you should not voice your opinion.

I am the Reverend Humpy and I approve this message.