A Long December

Greetings.

Wow. Where to begin?

I spent the first half of the month pulling graveyard shifts at work, so there's not really that much to tell about all of that, except to say that it was really hard adjusting back to "normal" sleeping hours. The last couple of weeks, however, have been a challenge.

I guess we'll start with the biggest antagonist of the month, the weather. I live in the Inland Northwest, and at my house, over 42" of snow has fallen and accumulated within the last two weeks. Those of you who know me and follow this blog might remember a post I wrote last year called Zen and the Art of Rooftop Snow Removal. In that post I explained that I have an old garage and that the roof on said garage is really not in any shape to handle the 18" of snow that fell on it last year, let alone the more-than-double that amount that we got this year. Now, earlier this month, before the snow started falling, my dad and I braced the roof of the garage with a couple of 2x4 posts that I thought would hold it pretty well. We also reinforced the existing trusses with screws (rather than the nails that were in them).

After the first big snowfall, where we got 21" in a 36 hour period, the 2x4s were already starting to bend like bows. So I had to remove as much of the snow as I could (without getting on the roof yet, because I haven't got a ladder). This was about a two and a half hour job, and by far the least of my snow troubles this year.

On the first day of the big snow, my truck got stuck pretty bad and I ended up walking about 16 blocks to where my wife was working to take her car to get some chains for the truck. Once I got the truck un-stuck, it took me over two and a half hours to get home (a distance of about 4.3 miles or so).

Also, I have had to shovel my driveway at least ten times in the last 14 days. My driveway is about 80-100 feet long, and about 10 feet wide. I hate shoveling.

So, you might ask "Reverend Humpy, why don't you just go buy a snowblower?" Well, I would love to. In fact, I would overpay for a snowblower right about now. The problem is, none of the idiot retailers in the area have any in stock. Nor do they have any tire chains to replace the one that I broke about four days after I bought it.

Here's a big source of bitching and moaning for me. How the hell do these cretins (retailers) expect to get any sympathy from me about a slow economy when they can't even keep enough snowblowers and chains in stock? What happened to the American entrepreneurial spirit? Everyone who knows about these things predicted that this winter was going to be even worse than last year. If even one of them had thought "I bet if I overstock on snowblowers and chains I could make a killing this winter," I wouldn't be having this problem. But no. They all just sit there and bitch about the lack of willing consumers. Seriously, I went to Sears a day or two after all of the snow began to fly and there was a line of people almost out the door of the store trying to get snowblowers - AT OVER $350 A POP!!! It's not that people don't want to spend money right now, it's that people don't want to spend money on stupid shit that they don't really need right now. I bet Sears had plenty of fucking Hanna Montana notebooks in stock. Idiots. All of them.

So, here I sit with my aching back.

Next up on the list of my weather-related December woes is the money that I've lost. Lost wages due to stuck vehicles and extra time spent shoveling snow now totals around $250. Which for me is a pretty big chunk. Money spent on equipment to deal with all of this shit (chains, shovel, etc.) $125. Just bullshit.

And now for the coup de grace. Christmas.

December 24th I was working. I got a call about a half-hour before I was scheduled to get off of work from my wife, who informed me that she was hopelessly stuck in our driveway (she drives a brand new Toyota Corolla with a pretty low ground clearance). I left work early to go dig her out. When I got home I saw what a mess she was in and decided to call my brothers-in-law to come and help me get her out. The car was completely high-centered at the front of the driveway, with half of the back end of the car out in the street. After about an hour, we were able to jack the car up and get some chains under the tires and get her un-stuck. The problem was, I was at work all day, it was snowing all day, and the driveway hadn't been shoveled. We were already running late to go to my sister's house for Christmas eve, so I decided to just leave her car about half-way up the driveway and I cleared out a spot on the street for me to park my truck. We went to my sister's house in my truck, and came home at about 10:30pm. Exhausted we went to bed and woke up early the next morning.

When I woke up, my wife had already been up for a little bit and she commented that there was a sleeping bag in the back of my truck. My first thought was that some transient had left it there overnight. Then I thought that it might be my sleeping bag that I keep in the tool box in the bed of the truck. I got my shoes on and went out to find my truck looted. About $1800 worth of stereo equipment, tools, digital camera, CDs and other odds & ends were missing. Merry fucking Christmas to me.

The insurance will probably only cover the stereo, since it was the only thing that was actually "part of the truck." (and apparently that's what I pay premiums for).

Luckily, though, I just happen to have a friend in the sheriff's department who may be able to put a little extra effort into finding the stolen property and catching whoever is trafficking in it. I am really growing to hate thieves.

I know this post probably reads a little disjointedly, but I'm tired. I've had a long month, and I just wanted to get some of it written down. I might write something a little more cohesive later, but for now, I just wanted to update everyone on some of the shit I've been dealing with.

Happy Holidays to EVERYONE.

I am the Reverend Humpy and I begrudgingly approve this message.